Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
