You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
