She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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