i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
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