i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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