2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
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