I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Randomize
