That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
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