we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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