my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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