is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Randomize
