haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
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What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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