I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
