i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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