If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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