Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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