I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize