You can't special order awesome
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Randomize
