In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
The air was thick with penises
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Randomize
