Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I came so hard my ears popped.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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