you guys were way drunker than both of me
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
