Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize