Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
