My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Randomize
