bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
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Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
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I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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