he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
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