He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
