Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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