hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
