I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
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