he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Randomize
