apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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