I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I am available for nakedness
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
