u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I think i got beer on your cat.
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