CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
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