i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
It's never too late to be topless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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