Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
