bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize