So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I skipped work to stalk him.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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