I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Randomize
