Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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