After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
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This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
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Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.