Kareoke will never be a sober sport
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.