im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.