new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
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Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
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Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me