I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
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