that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
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Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
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If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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