Your mouth is God's brothel.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people