She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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