In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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