part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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