So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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