I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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